I call it "hitting the wall." Avid running fans refer to that phrase as the point during a race in which you just have nothing left. Your energy stores have been depleted, your drive is gone, and you feel as if you've just run face-first into a brick wall. In many ways, planning a wedding is like a marathon. You need all of your strength, you need great drive, and you have to maneuver through a course, over hills. You get my point. At some point during the planning of your wedding, all of the little stresses may add up and you may find yourself "hitting the wall." It may be your mother taking over the guest list, the florist losing your order, your bridesmaid crying poverty when it comes time to order the dyed-to-match shoes. Every bride deals with these minor crises, but at some point, she'll blow her lid and vow to elope. You've seen it in every wedding-themed movie; you've seen it in your harried friends who have planned their own weddings.

There really is no way to escape stress during the planning of a wedding. It is a big event, and all of the little details carry such emotional weight. Expecting smooth sailing at all times is just a set-up for disaster, so you should be aware that your patience will be tried and things will not always go easily. You will get aggravated, and your shoulders will rise up around your ears at some point in the process, or maybe several times. The key is to expect the stress and know how to deal with it throughout the months of your planning time, so that you can let off some steam before you hit the wall. That means exercising the Stressbusters that work for you. Here are some ideas from my book How to Plan an Elegant Wedding in 6 Months or Less:

Don't make your wedding your whole life. Some brides get so caught up in the event itself that they make too much out of the planning process. I've seen brides get absolutely frantic, stressing about the little things that offer challenges, allowing their anxiety to build up to the blowing point. Balance your life. Remember that you are not only a bride-to-be, but a friend, sister, worker, artist, etc. This wedding is an event, ultimately a one-day thing. So keep that in perspective and remain present for the other areas of your life.

Vow to have "no wedding talk" times. Again, the wedding can become an all-encompassing entity - both for you and for the others in your life, such as your parents, your siblings, your friends - so lay down a rule that there will be no wedding talk during your regularly planned lunches, dinners, and outings with friends. This will keep you solid as a person, and it will prevent you from absorbing anyone else's issues and opinions about your wedding. Just talk about anything but the wedding on these occasions.

Laugh it up. Laughter is the best stress remedy. Scientists say that laughter kicks in the body's feel-good hormones, but beyond that diagnostic approach, you know that sharing a good belly laugh with people close to you can simply make you feel better. So seek out humor, whether it be from a rented humorous videotape, a few hours watching The Comedy Network, or going to a comedy club in town. Spend time with loved ones who always crack you up, and be sure to share the laughs with the groom. He may be a stressball too, and he could use a reminder of what your smile looks like.

Get moving. Those scientists are correct when they say that exercise is a proven Stressbuster, so get your body moving in any activity from walking to running to weight-lifting to kickboxing. Not only will your mood lift after a good cardio workout, but you'll feel lifted knowing that your arms are going to look fabulous in your gown. When the going gets tough, the vast majority of brides I've spoken to say they simply drop everything and go for a walk through a scenic neighborhood or at a track. Call it communing with nature or just a quick getaway, but you'll feel more relaxed after a brisk walk and some time to clear your mind.

Hit something. When your mother-in-law refuses to wear the light blue gown that would complement your mom's, the band calls to let you know they've changed their name from The Delectable to Johnny Mason's Crack Daddies, or your divorced parents are battling over the wording of your invitations, all of the laughter and walking in the world can'' hold a candle to just taking a whack at something. To keep you out of jail, I suggest you go to a local golf range and hit golf balls as hard as you can. Or go to the gym and pound on the heavy boxing bag (This works best if you picture a face on the bag). A good symbolic battering may not suit the image of the demure bride or the classy groom, but sometimes getting that aggression out in a safe manner can do a world of good.

Soak out your stress. Fill the bathtub with water (not too hot, as that raises blood pressure), some bubbles or bath salts, light some candles around the bathroom, turn on some calming music, and step in to soak away your tension. A good bubble bath tops the list of brides' and grooms' Stressbusters (especially if they're taking the bath together!) so consider this simple remedy to calm your nerves.

Take a whiff. Aromatherapy buffs swear by the essences of lavender and chamomile for relaxation. On the market now, you'll find everything from scented candles to essential oils for lamp rings, bath products with aromatherapy meanings, even perfumes and roll-on scents that are designed to give you a breath of relief. You know which scents calm you down. It could be bread baking in the oven. If so, grab a packet of Pillsbury Bread Dough from the refrigerator section of your supermarket and pop that loaf into the oven - no mixing, no kneading, no waiting for the dough to rise. You'll get the scent and the relief right away. If your brain relaxer is cinnamon, boil some water with cinnamon sticks in it. Check out aromatherapy sites on the Internet for more information on which scent will cure your particular issue.

Envision your dream wedding. Rather than picturing downpours of rain, the tent collapsing, and your ex crashing the wedding, train yourself to picture the wedding going well. Allow yourself to anticipate the best of what your wedding can be. See everything going well. See those gorgeous flowers you picked out months ago, and see yourself in complete bliss, dancing with your new spouse to "your song." Negative thoughts and positive thoughts cannot co-exist in your mind, so choose to concentrate on positive images. See it all going exactly as planned, and you'll find yourself with a smile on your face and a bounce in your step.

Have great sex. What could be a better Stressbuster, and it keeps you and your partner close. And if you do it right, you are going to look fabulous in that dress!